The components that made up my marriage were temper tantrums, mental illness, and evil within my spouse. Some of what I experienced was just normal in an abnormal marriage. When everything is intermingled and connected, it's difficult to separate. One thing I am sure of is how I felt as each thing happened. How … Continue reading Seat belts Save Lives
I hold a lot of secrets. Even anonymously, it's extremely difficult to type the words. Secrets are a weapon to be used against you. I told my psychologist that if he wrote anything down I said, I would never tell him the truth or reveal my secrets to him. He is the only person on … Continue reading Secrets
You internally battle yourself every day. You wonder who you are because you never had an opportunity to find out. You have low self esteem. Your sense of self worth doesn't just suddenly rise because you climbed out of the hole. Those dirt walls still surround you. You struggle every minute of every hour of … Continue reading Being Nothing
Being married to a bipolar/mentally ill person is being constantly judged, condemned blamed, and criticized. Everything you do is looked down on with harsh disapproval. You become brainwashed. It's the constant drip, drip, drip of the faucet. Fault is found in every word you speak. You become mute. You are trapped in your silent mind, … Continue reading Criticism and Judgement
In a perfect world, we would have been married happily ever after. In a perfect world, he would have loved me more than he loved himself, more than his own life. In a perfect world he would have nurtured the light at the center of my being until it was a great roaring fire that … Continue reading Perfect World
Are we capable of choosing to be evil or is it a mental illness? The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines mental illness as a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling, or mood. Evil is defined as profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity. That implies that evil is a choice. I would consider serial … Continue reading Evil: a mental illness or choice?
Roast turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread stuffing, cranberries, cinnamon rolls with thick sweet icing, candied carrots, homemade apple, cherry, and pumpkin pies with vanilla bean ice cream Thanksgiving 1988 and I made everything the old fashioned way with my own two hands in our tiny apartment. It was a lot of food and I had … Continue reading Cranberries and Craziness