The components that made up my marriage were temper tantrums, mental illness, and evil within my spouse. Some of what I experienced was just normal in an abnormal marriage. When everything is intermingled and connected, it's difficult to separate. One thing I am sure of is how I felt as each thing happened. How … Continue reading Seat belts Save Lives
Everything I did, he criticized. Everything I was, he criticized. Every hope I had for myself, he criticized. I enjoyed a lot of different games before him. It was fun to hit a tennis ball back and forth. He cured me of that by hitting me hard with a tennis ball and throwing his racquet … Continue reading Games
A friend of mine who has a psychology degree asked me one day if my ex had ever been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. We were discussing his odd behaviors and symptoms and she said what I had often wondered myself. He would often talk to himself in a low, gutterul, muttering sort of way. … Continue reading Multiple Personalities
You internally battle yourself every day. You wonder who you are because you never had an opportunity to find out. You have low self esteem. Your sense of self worth doesn't just suddenly rise because you climbed out of the hole. Those dirt walls still surround you. You struggle every minute of every hour of … Continue reading Being Nothing
Being married to a bipolar/mentally ill person is being constantly judged, condemned blamed, and criticized. Everything you do is looked down on with harsh disapproval. You become brainwashed. It's the constant drip, drip, drip of the faucet. Fault is found in every word you speak. You become mute. You are trapped in your silent mind, … Continue reading Criticism and Judgement
Insanity, Madness, Mental Illness, Crazy, Personality disorder, Bipolar, a label doesn't change the outcome or behavior. Neither does an official diagnosis. .There is no cure. Medication only lessons the severity of some of the symptoms. You can't manage his medication for him. He must want to help himself. You can't change him. You can't help … Continue reading Lessons Learned from a bipolar
Are we capable of choosing to be evil or is it a mental illness? The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines mental illness as a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling, or mood. Evil is defined as profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity. That implies that evil is a choice. I would consider serial … Continue reading Evil: a mental illness or choice?
Roast turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread stuffing, cranberries, cinnamon rolls with thick sweet icing, candied carrots, homemade apple, cherry, and pumpkin pies with vanilla bean ice cream Thanksgiving 1988 and I made everything the old fashioned way with my own two hands in our tiny apartment. It was a lot of food and I had … Continue reading Cranberries and Craziness
So many times he just didn't make sense. I would be dumbfounded by some of the things he would do. I seriously can't make this stuff up. When cities need money, sometimes they would send code enforcement to drive through neighborhoods and give tickets for the smallest of infractions. One of the ticketable offenses was … Continue reading Can I please pay the Ticket?
He was always so greedy. It makes perfect sense to me that he mentally, physically, and especially financially abruptly cut off his girls and me. He spent our entire marriage buying every man toy he ever wanted. I was barely able to get braces for both girls teeth. He over the years bought dirt bikes, … Continue reading Greed and Selfishness