Not his Mommy Dearest

Yesterday, I sort of had an epiphany about why I was the target and symbol of his rage. It really made sense to me. In his mind, I had the status of his mother. You know how mama's boy type men marry a woman that reminds them of their mom and daddy's little girl type … Continue reading Not his Mommy Dearest

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Fear

Do any of you really know what fear is? Terror, fright, horror, panic, alarm, dread..... yes, all that, but also the feeling of it physically affecting your body....shaking....quivering....sweating....tightening of muscles..... like stepping inside a scary horror flick. Washing the the evening dishes, staring at my reflection in the darkened window,  I would feel the fear creeping … Continue reading Fear

Army of One

Three things.  It was three things that happened in the last remnants of what remained of my marriage that I couldn't forgive you for.  I spent thirty plus years forgiving everything you ever did. Those last three things ended our marriage. Attacking our daughter, attacking my brother, and  your explosive behavior at work that landed … Continue reading Army of One

Mania

Unless you have been in the presence of someone with mania, you really can't understand the intensity of it. My former husband had bouts of mania often during our entire marriage. Of course, I didn't understand what it was at the time.  I guess I just accepted it as maybe not completely normal, but just … Continue reading Mania