Stains on your Soul

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People often speak about emotional healing. I don’t think it’s possible to heal from emotional trauma.You can rearrange your thoughts and the way you think about a situation that caused you harm. You can evaluate the actions and reactions, the words that were spoken, the thoughts you had, and the emotions that occurred in a specific traumatizing event.You can change your mind and wish you had made a different choice.  You can get more information, or educate yourself and change your perspective. Intention, assumption, and perception can all be rearranged after the fact and convince you your reactions, thoughts, and feelings were incorrect. However,the situation that caused the trauma cannot ever be changed,therefore, it cannot be healed.  How the events unfolded and made you feel are forever recorded in your internal tape recorder. You can’t undo the intensity of the moment, or lessen the hurt it created deep within you. That hurt, those feelings, leave a stain within your soul. It leaves behind an imprint that forever changes you.  You will always mentally flinch in the same sort of situation. Your brain with its stored memories will on odd occasions remember a color, a word, a noise, a place and transport you back to that trauma full force.  You will wince inwardly as your eyes tear up, you will remember and cry. People also like to say the phrase” time heals.” Your tape recorder may fill up with more recent memories as time passes, but your traumatic memories are always there in their order of occurrence just waiting for their cue. They don’t lessen with time.  The pain doesn’t either. The damage can never be undone. It hovers throughout our lives, causing havoc when we least expect it. It can be disguised, but remains there nonetheless.

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