Years Pass…..

Years pass. You ask yourself how did this happen?  How did I come to be living such a life of desperation? This fragmented life of  hopelessness and self imposed isolation. Your soul is slowly dying of starvation. Some days, most days, you feel like you can’t breathe. The thick, dark, heavy smoke of his unexpected rage fills your throat and lungs and chokes you. His empty,  glaring, black demon eyes will you onto the edge of a dangerous precipice in your mind. You fall and survival is only in grasping his icy, cold hands that reach for you with their fingers of control, loneliness, and empty endless I’m sorry’s. You are pulled back into the ironic chill comfort that is expected and known, the familiarity of the fear and misery. This is a meaningless pattern.  You have experienced it enough for a thousand lifetimes. Yet every single time, it’s a knife buried to it’s hilt into your heart. Every single time the pain is yet deeper. Years pass.  How many are enough?  What is the time limit you place on such an existence?  Who can judge a person’s limits?  Yet, you stay one more time because you don’t want to judge his limits.  You have hope, in your mind, every time could be the last. Something could possibly change, but it just doesn’t.  And the years pass……

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